Smejanje

[Rapture]

Jedne večeri 4 studenta bili su na zabavi i nisu učili za test zakazan za sledeći dan.

Ujutro su isplanirali: zaprljali su se sto su bolje mogli, zatim su takvi otisli do profesora i rekli mu da su proslu noć bili na venčanju, a na povratku im je pukla guma na autu pa su ga morali gurati natrag i zbog toga nisu u stanju da resavaju test.

Profesor je ljubazno dozvolio da imaju test... za 3 dana. Zahvalili su mu se i rekli da će biti spremni za 3 dana. Trećeg dana su otisli na test. Profesor je rekao da im je pripremio poseban test i da će svatko od njih pisati u drugoj prostoriji.

Svi su se slozili s tim budući da su se dobro pripremili.

Test se sastojao od jednog pitanja za 100 bodova.
Pitanje 1: Koja guma?
a) prednja lijeva b) zadnja lijeva c) prednja desna d) zadnja desna ???

 

[FantomX]

Zaustavlja pandur narkomana u kolima.
Pandur: „ daj odmah sve saobracajnu, vozacku i licnu kartu“
Narkoman: brate nemoj keve ti vidis da ne znam gde sam....
Pandur: „daj odmah sve nema rasprave...“
Narkoman: brate nemoj keve ti vidis da ne znam gde sam
Pandur: „znas li ti ko sam ja!!!“
Narkoman: brate keve ti, sta je ovo, ti ne znas ko si - ja ne znam gde sam...

Spojler

Sedi devojka u invalidskim kolicima u kaficu, prilazi joj lik kome se svidela da je upozna. Nakon upoznavanja, dogovore se da sutra odu u park.Dok ju je gurao kroz park pricali su kako bi mogli da vode ljubav. Ona mu predlozi
-Ajmo do onog drveta, tu me podigni da se uhvatim za granu, a ti uradi sta treba.
On je poslusa… I kada su zavrsili, on je vrati u kolica i odvede kuci. Kad iz kuce istrcava njena majka i pocinje da grli decka
- Hvala ti sine sto si je vratio kuci!
-Pa naravno da cu je vratiti, svasta.
A na to ce majka
-Ima sine mangupa, ***u i ostave , po tri dana visi na drvetu!

Umireeeeem

 

[blackmore1911]

Хало,јел то полиција?
-Јесте!
Две рибе се туку за мене...
-Па,шта је ту лоше?
Пааа,ова ружна побеђује! olololol

 

[voodoons]

Dama šeta gradom i nađe se pred Tifanijevom prodavnicom.
Uđe i počne razgledati...
Posebno joj se dopala jedna narukvica.
Sagnula se da je bolje vidi, i kako se sagnula, tako je prdnula!
Unezverena od neugodnosti pogleda oko sebe i utvrdi da joj se ostvarila najgora noćna mora: prodavac je stajao tik iza nje!
No, profesionalan kakvi već jesu prodavci Tifanija, ničim nije odavao da je svestan malog daminog "incidenta".
Crveneći, ali još uvek se nadajući da prodavac nije primetio šta joj se dogodilo, dama upita:
- Molim Vas, koliko košta ova narukvica?
- Poštovana gospođo, ako ste prdnuli od samog pogleda na nju, usra*ete se ako vam kažem koliko košta. - mrtav hladan odgovori joj prodavac.

 

[Diabolique]

What is a Financial Bail-Out ?

It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down harshly, and all the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to **** one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some room-keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the €100 note and rushes down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of animal feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the friendly neighbourhood pub. The pub owner slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar - who, in spite of facing hard times, has always gladly offered him her 'services' on credit.

The hooker then rushes over to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor quietly replaces the €100 note back on the counter, so that the rich traveller will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, states that none of the rooms are satisfactory, ****s up the €100 note, pockets it and leaves town.

No one has produced anything. No one has earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, dear ladies and gentlemen, is how a basic financial bailout package works!

 

[smarac]

What is a Financial Bail-Out ?

It is a slow day in a damp little Irish town. The rain is beating down harshly, and all the streets are deserted. Times are tough, everybody is in debt and everybody lives on credit.

On this particular day a rich German tourist is driving through the town, stops at the local hotel and lays a €100 note on the desk, telling the hotel owner he wants to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to **** one to spend the night.

The owner gives him some room-keys and, as soon as the visitor has walked upstairs, the hotelier grabs the €100 note and runs next door to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the €100 note and rushes down the street to repay his debt to the pig farmer. The pig farmer takes the €100 note and heads off to pay his bill at the supplier of animal feed and fuel.

The guy at the Farmers' Co-op takes the €100 note and runs to pay his drinks bill at the friendly neighbourhood pub. The pub owner slips the money along to the local prostitute drinking at the bar - who, in spite of facing hard times, has always gladly offered him her 'services' on credit.

The hooker then rushes over to the hotel and pays off her room bill to the hotel owner with the €100 note.

The hotel proprietor quietly replaces the €100 note back on the counter, so that the rich traveller will not suspect anything.

At that moment the traveller comes down the stairs, states that none of the rooms are satisfactory, ****s up the €100 note, pockets it and leaves town.

No one has produced anything. No one has earned anything. However, the whole town is now out of debt and looking to the future with a lot more optimism.

And that, dear ladies and gentlemen, is how a basic financial bailout package works!

lol ovo je dobro objasnjenje za one koji ne mogu da shvate

 

[MikiD]

ZASTO JE BOLJE BITI MUSKARAC:

-Zawrsis telefonski razgowor za 30sek.
-Za godisnji odmor dowoljno ti je 7 dana i 1 kofer
-Mozes sam da otworis swe wrste konzerwi i tegli
-Prijatelji te ne sazaljewaju kad se ugojis
-Twoja zadnjica ne igra nikakwu ulogu u interwjuu za posao
-Kada odsluzis wojsku wise nikada ne moras ribati WC
-Prewise sexa ti nece unistiti reputaciju (naprotiw)
-Mozes se istusirati i obuci za 10min
-Mozes jesti bananu i sladoled na jawnom mestu a da te niko ne gleda pohotno
-Ne dobijas slom ziwaca ako neko ne primeti twoju nowu frizuru ili cipele
-Konstantno si u istom raspolozenju
-Ne krwaris bez razloga
-Znas najmanje 20 nacina da otworis piwsku flasu
-Seda kosa i bore samo podcrtawaju twoj karakter
-Briga te sta ti gowore iza ledja
-Tri para cipela su ti saswim dowoljne
-Ljudi ti ne bulje u grudi dok razgowarate
-I za kraj: Sta je to celulit?! ))))



Izvinjavam se za "w" "cj" i ostale gluposti, copy/paste, mrzi me da prepravljam

 

[Iv4n]

Izvinjavam se za "w" "cj" i ostale gluposti, copy/paste, mrzi me da prepravljam

Ubacis u notepad, CTRL+H, replace w->v, klik na REPLACE ALL

 

[FantomX]

Ili budes pravi moderator i izmoderises poruku

 

[gx-x]

^^ win

 

[voodoons]

Ili budes pravi moderator i izmoderises poruku

Pravi moderator bi ti lupio sad jedno 2 poena

 

[DuleC]

Kao na Evroviziji. I onda mu pročitaš na više svetskih jezika, recimo engleski i francuski: link

 

[activated1]

http://www.limundo.com/kupovina/Tehnika/TV/LCD-i-Plazma-televizori/LG-32-polomljen/3891332

 

[gx-x]

http://www.limundo.com/kupovina/Tehnika/TV/LCD-i-Plazma-televizori/LG-32-polomljen/3891332

"Ocekujte jos ovakvih aukcija jer nisam prestao da pijem " ali sam zato silom prilika prestao da gledam TV

 

[mINUS]

ko zna cija je i odakle ova roba

 

[R_O_N_I_N]

Provalite ovog kralja Sto prodaje 212+ sa probusenim pajpovima...

http://www.limundo.com/kupovina/Racunari-i-Oprema/Komponente/Kuleri/cooler-master-hyper-212-plus/3861555

 

[gx-x]

ultimate dubstep knock knock joke:

1. knock knock!
2. who's there?
1. Bob.
2. Bob who?!
1. Bob WOB WOB WOB WOB WOBWOBWOB WOB WOB

 

[animaN]

^^^^ sjajno!

 

[M_M]

 

[BEGINER]

Objasnjenje dana

"Za one koji ne znaju sta je starleta.Starleta je najvisi nivo u igrici "Escort Service"

 

[mINUS]

status na FB

Spojler

DRAGI DEDA MRAZE! Zelim debeo novcanik i tanko telo. Molim te da ne pomesas kao prosle godine

 

[mitarus]

Pirocanac peva devojci:

"Hocu samo tebe,
za tebe samo znam,
reci mi sta zelis.
ta-na-na-na-na-nam"

 

[mINUS]

Kako zemunac posti na vodi?


Hrani se po splavovima.

 

[Rapture]

Kaze sta je greh, a sta je greota?

Odgovor gledate na sopstvenu odgovornost:

Spojler

Greh je staviti sestri tuki u usta, a greota je da ga vadis

Mozda i previse za ovu temu...

 

[Godzilla]