50 things I cant do anymore with computers

[ays]

50 Things AYS Is No Longer Allowed To Do With Computers

1. Windows 7 is not to be called "Macrohard Door Blinds."

2. Playstation 3s are not "Visualization nodes."

3. Anything involving device entries and the dd command.

4. Telling other people to $ cat > /dev/null is not the same as telling them to shut up.

5. I am not allowed to ask the Mac Geniuses at the Apple Store if they can install Linux on the iPod before I buy one.

6. Even with fireplaces and rugs, puddles and electrical appliances, The Sims 2 is not "Killzone."

7. I am not allowed to answer questions on Linux forums, even jokingly, with "sounds like you have a * directory in your root directory. You'll need to remove it recursively as root using the force removal argument so it doesn't bother you in the future."

8. EeePCs and toasters do not combine well, even if NetBSD is involved. Sooner or later someone will want to make toast.

9. Just because I can run FreeBSD and Windows 98 on an Xbox, it doesn't mean I should.

10. When talking to a Free Software Foundation advocate via the internet, I must stop playing villiage ***** and deliberately confusing "RMS" which refers to "Richard M. Stallman" for OpenVMS' "Record Management System."

11. The UNIX Hater's Handbook (and the commands contained in it) should not be treated like an instruction manual.

12. If someone leaves his terminal unattended, I am to leave it alone. In particular, the alias command is to be left alone. ls is not to be aliased to echo 'ls: command not found.'

13. Quoting Murphy's laws of computers while taking backups of the file system is not 'reassurance,' when other peoples' music, videos, and homework is on it.

14. The "write to all users" command is not to have infinitely repeating output pipelined into it, especially while other people are logged in.

15. I am not allowed to use the output of the command % ar m God to prove or disprove the basis of Christianity.

16. When submitting written assignments electronically, teachers would appreciate it more if I handed in my homework with filename extensions.

17. When telling other people why they need a strong password even though they are the only ones who use the computer, I must find a more appropriate analogy for passwords than underwear. "Never share, even with friends, don't leave lying around, make sure they're the right size, and change often!"

18. I am not allowed to name Seymour Cray or Dennis Ritchie as my personal heroes when talking about favourite celebrities with computer-illiterate people.

19. Even though UNIX services are called Daemons, this does not mean I have to put on a headdress and do a ritual dance, proclaiming I will make a sacrifice to appease the "Great and terrible will of the Machine Spirits" every time I type something into the terminal that starts with # /etc/init.d/ or # /usr/local/etc/rc.d/...

20. Just because I would like to use it as one, a five-pound wooden mallet is not a Luser Attitude Readjustment Tool. Nor is it a magic bullet solution to hardware issues.

21. An abacus is not an answer to the eternal "Mac or PC" war, even though as I say, "It'll never crash, it just works, it's beautiful, and doesn't catch viruses!"

22. When baby-sitting for community service, Mario Wolzcko's UNIX recovery legend is not an appropriate bedtime story.

23. When overhearing "Real Men use..." chest-thumping contests between 1337 kiddies, I am not allowed to cut in and suggest "Paper punchcards and a Turing machine."

24. CAD class is not to be used for designing swords and medieval armour. The same applies to futuristic space guns with chainsaws on them.

25. The "Holy Trinity" is not to be explained as "VAX, Alpha, Itanium."

26. "Vista" is not to be used as an acronym for "Viruses, Intrusions, Spyware, Trojans & Adware."

27. Just because games will run on High Performance Computing clusters running Windows HPC Server 2008, it doesn't mean I should.

28. At the PC store, when looking at laptops, it is generally inadvisable to make lewd jokes about "Microsoft" in the presence of Soccermoms and their brainless and bratty kids.

29. If someone leaves his computer logged in, typing in suspicious and/or weird search keywords on his amazon account is grounds for a fistfight if caught. Not to be repeated.

30. Reformatting a Macbook, wiping out the Mac operating system and installing one of the BSDs in its place is not to be called "fixing the poor broken thing."

31. Suggestive shell or programming instructions are not to be used as ****up lines.

32. Time, money, and effort spent on maintaining relationships is not to be referred to as "overhead" or "operating costs."

33. When I threaten people with physical violence, most people don't understand what CMKRNL means when I mean to say I'm serious.

34. Just because Rule 34 applies to the Internet, I don't have to enforce it in the real world.

35. When I introduce myself to new people, my name is not "root", "executive", "uid 0" or "kernel."

36. I am not allowed to yell out UNIX terminal commands in a raspy, guttural voice and loudly proclaim I can speak Klingon.

37. The OpenVMS Prompt is the way it is for a reason. I should not be adding "$ SET PROMPT="C:GAMES> "" to my LOGIN.COM just so I can trick other people into thinking it is MS-DOS.

38. Even though "HELP ANAL" is a valid OpenVMS command that will return an answer, it doesn't mean that I should talk about it in public.

39. Windows Server 2008/Itanium or Windows NT 4.0 for DEC Alpha systems should not be explained as "A 32-bit graphical interface for a 16-bit patch to an 8-bit OS originally written for what started out as a a 4-bit processor made by a pair of 2-bit companies that can't stand 1 bit of competition that miraculously got mixed up on 64-bit hardware."

40. Overclocking a laptop is a risky business with negligible performance gains, but that alone should never, ever be my one and only incentive for wanting to do it.

41. A first date is not to be called "Proof of Concept."

42. A second date is not a "Beta Test" a third one being a "Release Candidate" and a fourth one called "Release to Manufacturing."

43. Just because I might, at one point, have a hot-swappable disk array and hot-add/replace memory and processor capabilities on my home box that will allow me to replace damaged parts without even turning off the computer, it doesn't mean everyone else who asks me to fix their PC does.

44. Whenever I shut down a thrashing process through the UNIX terminal using the commands, I don't have to place my finger on return, peer down the back of the keyboard and whisper, in a hushed, threatening voice, "I'm judge, I'm jury, and I'm executioner, too."

45. If a program initiates a memory leak, the correct response is not to apply pitch or other sealants around the bottom of the computer.

46. My idea of "buffer stack smashing" should not turn out to be a polished-up sledgehammer.

47. Getting everyone into the hallways to get piss drunk and wasted is not "loading the network."

48. I should stop pronouncing "UNIX" as "Eunuchs" and saying that after a certain point when applied to the userbase, it means the same thing.

49. In Dungeons and Dragons, I cannot make my Paladin's battlecry "Prepare to be DISUSERED!"

50. When comparing platforms, I'm not allowed to make the analogy of "apples and oranges" and then state "Both of them can be dessicated in an equal time under the same heat, effectively making the differences between them moot."

 

[brankko]

TLDR

 

[animaN]

 

[ZoNi]

Too geeky for me! Većinu stvari uopšte ne kontam...

One koje kontam su kul

 

[ays]

Zoni, то је због мог преласка са линукса као примарног OS на unix. Па сам решио да се спрдам сам са собом мало...